Abby’s Rough Start to the Week

So…. you know Abby despises the Roomba, whom MtnMan has affectionately named the Dog Snatcher? It has been acting haywire for a month now, and last week while we were in Twin, I had it remap the entire house because after 10 reboots, the customer service people insisted that must happen in order to fix this problem. Yesterday it completed a job in 7 minutes, when 1 room takes 30-45 minutes, and when I sent it to clean another room, it left the home base and did donuts about 3 feet from the base and then kept head butting the sliding glass doors until it finally ended back up on the homebase. The error was- could not complete task. Well, no shit.

Today Abby and I went to breakfast with MtnMan, giving me another opportunity to try to figure this hunk of plastic robot shit out. I sent it to vacuum the living room, after 7 minutes it “successfully completed task”, and when I pulled up the map, it did donuts under the dining room table, which is in the dining room, not the living room, and on tile, not carpet. So…. then I realized that maybe my boundary line was keeping it from going into the living room, so I deleted that stupid line and sent it to vacuum the living room again. For 20 minutes it said “vacuuming” and then it said “ready to vacuum” and was not on the home base.

When Abby and I got home, I let her out of the truck and directed her to the yard so that I could find out where the hunk of junk was. It was in the middle of the goddamn living room, and it made 4 passes and shut down. This is the problem I was having prior to the 10 reboots and the factory reset. The fucking problem is the same fucking problem I had before.

I send it home, and it does donuts in the dining room, head butts the sliding glass door and then docks on the fucking base. Good job.

I let Abby in, and she is already aware. *facepalm* She sniffs every fucking pass in the carpet that it took and then darts over to the robot and, coincidentally, it came alive. MtnMan could not have planned that, even if he wanted to. She goes into “shaking like a leaf” mode and immediately blames me because once she gathered herself, she sat with a deadpan look staring right through my entire being.

That’s not all. It gets worse.

Every 60 seconds (yes, I timed it after a couple minutes) it would come alive and light up, with its signature dinging. After several times of that happening, I rebooted it, and 60 seconds after it cycled through the bullshit reboot cycle, it came alive. I powered it down, and 60 seconds later it did it again. Abby is not happy, and I assure you she had a lot to say by this time. I opened the lid, thinking that would keep it from coming alive. NOPE. That was a big fucking NOPE. Finally, I sent Abby outside because the girl was making the situation even worse. Still, it came alive after 60 seconds.

It is currently upside down and my phone app keeps sending me messages saying that it needs to be on a level surface, but at least it is not coming alive.

I emailed them because I’m tired of making phone calls that do nothing but waste my time while another call center person that is not in the states tells me to reboot it.

I get a response within an hour and I am told that it looks like the “Dog Snatcher” is having trouble, we need you to reboot 3 times and if that does not correct the issue, please respond but do not respond until you have done this.

I responded to say, no I am not rebooting it 3 more times. As per my previous email, I have rebooted it 10 times and then did a factory reset while on the phone with your customer service department. I am sure my call history is attached to my account. Would you be so kind as to suggest something that has not already been attempted; a reboot is obviously not fixing this issue. Thank you so much for thoroughly reading through my email before responding. I do appreciate your help.

Seriously, companies no longer believe in providing good customer service. I have remained cordial because I don’t imagine everyone that gets the run around is pleasant to deal with, but if they would actually provide service for their crap product, then people wouldn’t get chewed out when answering a call.

Abby is not currently talking to me, but she is coming around, I think. She looked in my cam room, huffed and retreated to the living room about 20 minutes ago. This is progress. lol.

Abby vs. the Dog Snatcher

We welcomed a Roomba into our home in August, much to Abby’s disapproval and chagrin. The first 5 days were spent with the “Dog Snatcher” mapping the entire home. She followed it around, constantly checking on it, nervous and in full fear mode.

Once it had learned the floor plan of our home, I was able to create cleaning maps. The Dining Room, Second Bath and Kitchen are labeled “Hair Control”. In order to stay ahead of the hairy mess, I try to run the Roomba several times a week, but in order to not stress the girl out, I do my best to hide it from her.

Here is what it takes to succeed at keeping the Roomba a secret, although she knows it still resides in her domain. I put a load of laundry in the wash, close the bedroom door, turn the air purifier on (which is right outside the bathroom), close the bathroom door, turn the vent on and start the shower. Once I am out of the shower, I turn the hairdryer on, then open the door and let her into the bedroom. Her routine is to get out of the bathroom as soon as I’m finished in the shower because she knows I’m about to dry my hair. She’s not a fan of that, either. So, other than the doors being closed and all of the additional noise going on, she’s none the wiser…. except is she? By the time I’m finished getting ready, the Roomba is back in its home, and emptied the basket (which makes a lot of unwanted noises). I always walk out first, with Abby right on my heels, and the mornings that the Roomba has rumbled, she will walk to the kitchen, look right at it and huff.

So, this brings me to the story behind this blog post:

I did not have laundry yesterday morning, and I thought with all of the other nonsense I go through, that it would be enough. Welp. It most definitely was not. As soon as I woke the Roomba up from my phone app, she looked at me, tilted her head, gave me her trademark “deadpan look”, walked to the door, looked down at the crack and sniffed. Then looked back at me with a disapproving Abby look, and it was cute but I felt like i was caught red handed. I mean, seriously.

I opened the door after my shower, she trots her unhappy ass over to the bedroom door, sniffs the crack and then grunts, huffs, puffs and turns around to give me that signature deadpan look of hers. She was most definitely not happy. While I was getting ready, she kept pacing back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom door, and each time she’d look back in the bathroom just to reassure me that she was not very pleased with the current events.

Once the Roomba was docked and emptied, I opened the door where she raced out, surveyed the kitchen and then growled at the Dog Snatcher, that was already asleep. Because of her bravery, I rewarded her with a milk bone, which she apprehensively took from me and walked a safe distance away before enjoying her treat. Yes, when she was finished, she gave me another deadpan look, huffed and walked to the front door. She wanted out and I was more than happy to have her leave the house for awhile. lol.

I think it is safe to say, she has never been fooled but some days it’s easier for her to ignore what is happening in her domain. I will always make sure I have a load of laundry going when the Roomba rumbles.