Member Show

It seems the #smglitch is strong this week and it has made it impossible to predict, or to plan around. So, with that said, let’s meet on Chaturbate tonight for the Tuesday night member show. It will be at 8p EST, and it will be a FREE show, if you are a member of mine. However, there is no banner for you to click through to gain access, so you must join the cam site in order to create a username. Once in my chat room I will give you a pass, which will then grant you access to the show. Please, if you join the chat be patient while I type in “the code” to give you a ticket. 

Join Chaturbate using this link, please

 

Grumpy as Fuck

There is no reason for me to be grumpy today, but I am. And, it seems that I am short on patience, as well. 

 

World Elephant Day

World Elephant Day has been in operation since 2012 and with each passing year, it becomes more widely known and acknowledged. It is amazing how many sanctuaries and organizations have been working to save the pachyderm species for decades and with the help of social media people are starting to appreciate these gentle beasts. 

Ele-Facts:

  • If a baby elephant complains, the entire family will rumble and go over and touch and caress it. 
  • Elephants express grief and compassion. 

  • Elephants play a crucial ecological role in their habitats, such as digging pools of water that other animals depend on.
  • Elephants can live to be over 70 years old.
  • Elephants have a highly developed brain and the largest of all the land mammals. The brain is 3 or 4 times larger than that of humans although smaller as a proportion of body weight. 
  • Elephants purr like cats do, as a means of communication.
  • Elephants prefer one tusk over the other, just as people are either left or right-handed. 
  • Elephants cry, play, have incredible memories, and laugh. 
  • Elephants are social creatures. They sometimes “hug” by wrapping their trunks together in displays of greeting and affection.
  • Elephants pay homage to the bones of their dead, gently touching the skulls and tusks with their trunks and feet. when an elephant walks past a place that a loved one has died, he/she will stop dead still; a silent and empty pause that can last several minutes.
     

 

Dick the Size of a Forearm

Because mercury is close to going in reverse, I am fortunate to have this gentleman with a slong so big, I need to remove my organs to enjoy…

Chevyboy: Hi gorgeous
Have you ever seen a cock as long as your forearm and big around as your wrist
Would you like to?

If you can get past the incomplete sentences and lack of punctuation, you might be in shock and awe of such a prime specimen. 

First, let me give you a picture demonstration:

 

Now, this is obviously not to scale, but can you imagine? It is not a pleasant image and it continues to baffle me as to why some think that something so big would be possible. Let’s talk anatomy for a bit and pretend that it is possible for a human man to be cursed with a forearm in place of his dick. The amount of blood it would take to maintain a hard shaft would most definitely cause him to die. The blood would be rerouted from his brain (assuming he has one), down to his dick, leaving his heart and arteries completely empty of blood. I don’t know if some school districts are no longer teaching Health class, but we all need blood to survive. It is our life line. Now that we have covered that little detail, let’s now discuss the lack of room a woman has because of organs. It does not matter how long her torso is, she does not have a cavernous hole to receive such a large object. I am sorry, it is just not possible, even if some organs have been removed, there is not enough room for a forearm to slip into… nor would it be a “feel good” experience. In conclusion, I think common sense is what is missing here…

 

A Cam Conversation

This gave me a chuckle . . . 

Him: Hi

Me: Hi, how are you?

Him: Hi

Me: Hi

Him: Where u from?

Me: Central Texas

Him: So Dallas?

Me: That is north Texas. 

Him: You must be in Houston then.

Me: Where are you?

Him: I am in north Houston.

Me: What? No you are not. 

Him: Why don’t u believe me?

Me: Because you think Houston is in central Texas and Dallas is further south than it actually is. But hey, that is just me.

Him: I am in the Woodlands.

Me: Oh, okay. It makes sense then that you failed geography class. 

Me: And, yes I am in Houston, if you consider Marfa to be Houston.

Blah Blah

I have been sitting here, staring at the screen, eating starbursts (don’t judge me), playing Toy Blast and surfing the net… I cannot believe I cannot think of anything to blog, but alas, I cannot. 

There is nothing new to share with you, that you do not already know and I have no rants to speak of, so we are good there . . . Huh! that kind of rhymed. 

It is still hot and the promise of cooler days is at least another month away, this is August after all. 

I will be back into a routine of sorts, although, I have been in one for awhile now. There was only a slight interruption last week, but you will be happy to read that I do not have any trips coming up . . . so, probably no interruptions. Although, in the famous words of Dwwindsor, “my site, my rules”. Actually, to be more on point he would say – “your site, your rules”. In other words, that is subject to change but my life is no longer chaotic so what little interruptions I may have will be bearable. Of course, that is just my opinion. 

And, that is all of the ramblings I have for now. G’day! 

My Tomorrow

For me life has changed and, although, uncertain, it is a beautiful and bright future. It has been a healthy and positive transition for me, and I owe a lot of that to Dawn and Rob, along with my Texas friends (JoAnn and Bo). They have given me a sound foundation when I needed a step back. With that said, my online community has kept me grounded and given me hope. Thank you for all of the support, encouragement and the inspirational words that have crossed my screen in the last several months. 

Many of you have asked what my plans are, and where I will end up, and to be honest, I am just enjoying the changes I have made right now. Just know that I am doing well and that I am happy. Life is good and I am looking forward to the next tomorrow. 

Another August, Another Birthday

We are saying g’bye to July and hello to August and happy birthday to Jer! I hope that you are enjoying your summer and that you have one of the best birthday’s to date! I cannot wait to catch up with you soon and hear all about your new home and what changes life has brought since we last spoke. Please know that you are missed!

Once You Hit 40…

I finally went to the Optometrist because it has been 4-5 years and I really need new glasses. After going through all of the tricks and blurred eye testing this was the conversation:

Him: yeah, you are 40, huh? 

Me: yes sir. 

Him: well, you need bifocals…

Me: yes, I figured as much.

Him: don’t feel bad, everyone needs them at some point after 40.

Me: okay, I don’t feel bad.

Him: seriously, it happens after 40.

Me: seriously, I am okay with it. 

Now, this is just me, but I think he needs to work on his “bed side manner” lol.

At any rate, I have trifocals now and it is not near as bad as I was dreading. I can now see distance (which was starting to be a bit tough and important when driving), I can see my computer (also important), and I can read on my phone (which I have not been able to do for a year or so, probably longer). 

Pfft! Whatever, now that I can see again, 40 never looked so good! 

 

#newbeginnings 

 

Schedule Change

G’afternoon! I hope all is well with you and that you are having a great week! 

Next week I have a busy beginning, which will impact the Monday and Tuesday night member show’s. Monday will still happen, but four hours earlier and Tuesday is rescheduled to Thursday.

Monday VNA —-> 7p EST 

Tuesday rescheduled —-> Thursday 11pEST 

I am sorry for the change, but I hope that you will still be able to join me for the member show’s. If not, I understand but will still hold it against you and cannot promise that the rest of the group won’t talk about you. lol.

Palm Trees in the Desert

I am currently staying in PHX, which is desert to anyone who is not aware of that, and there are palm trees in most yards and on every corner. I do not understand why anyone would think that a palm tree should be planted in the desert, which is drought-stricken 360 days a year. Do you know what that means? The trees are heavily watered in order to keep them thriving, despite water restrictions. Which moves me further into my gripe. Some yards have a 5′ x 5′ patch of grass, along with xeroscaping. That makes absolutely no fucking sense! Grass is not native to the desert and now it takes 3 hours of watering each day, which in turn drains into the street, running off into the wash. It is a complete waste of resources. Who was in charge of city planning when they allowed non-native plants species to be brought in? The desert that was once allergen free now has allergies and still no water.

I understand that we live in a society of free-thinkers, and I am thankful for that, but at some point I believe restrictions should be enforced. Such as, baggage check at airports. Have you traveled lately? Most airlines now charge for checked bags, which in my opinion is part of the travel expense, and now most passengers carry on all of their belongings. When I say ALL of their belongings, I mean everything except their house. I have seen some people, who are traveling alone, have 3 bags bigger than what is “allowed” as a carry-on and then it takes them 20 minutes of struggling to get off of the goddamn plane. If you cannot lift it yourself, don’t fucking carry it onto the plane. If you have more than 1 bag, don’t carry it on the plane! If it is so large that you could fit a small person inside, check the goddamn bag! Seriously, I would be embarrassed if I was that much of a twit. As I watch you struggle with your bags, just know that I am saying very harsh words about you. lol. Also, If an airline is going to charge for checked bags, they should enforce the carry on rule because a lot of people are working the system. Once 20 people are on the plane and each one has 2 suitcases, the overhead bins are full, which means everyone else now has to drop their bags at the gate, for FREE, and now they have paid less than those of us who respect the policy of paying for bags. So, either adjust the overall ticket price and stop charging for bags OR enforce the fucking baggage rule for carry on. 

Okay, so this post kind of veered off of the original topic. Back to palm trees in the desert. Who else thinks that seeing tropical plants in the desert is a ridiculous sight? Seriously, I am not on a beach, nor am I in a lush rainforest. I am just saying, palm trees in the desert is absurd for several reasons. In conclusion, if you are moving to the desert do not plant palm trees and if you are already living in the desert and you have a backyard oasis full of palms, please ignore my disdain for your decision and do not be sensitive. lol.  

Pharcyd…

I know you do not care much for your birthday, which seems to be a pattern with my fella’s, and for that I will make this short. 

I hope that whatever it is you decide to do with your day, that it makes you happy. So, happy birthday! 

What is New?

I have been busy with pictures and videos for the last several weeks, and it is exciting stuff! lol. As I said in May, my recent changes in life will not effect my site, and I intend to keep that promise. 

Last week I released a new squirting video, which is the most requested content, and soon there will be a new JOI video added. I was surprised that when I gave you guys a jerk-off-instruction clip over a year and a half ago that it would have such positive feedback. I have to say that it may very well be second in requests, next to the foot fetish. Soon there will be pics added for my foot lovers, as a bonus set, along with a video further on down the road. The pics were taken a few weeks ago and the video just this past weekend, so neither has to do with the other. I am just trying to revive my site for those of you that have been loyal and hopefully gain a few new joins in the process. Also, it has been too long since I have taken a bubble bath and there will be a new video added in the weeks to come. 

I am constantly taking pics and videos so if there is a request, now is the time to make suggestions. 

Another Birthday!

I would like to wish Hmfast a very happy birthday! I hope that you have a beautiful day, doing whatever it is that you want to do. 

Happy, happy birthday to you!

Short Week

This week will be a short one for me because I am going to a concert with Dawn and Rob in San Diego. 

I will be online Sunday-Tuesday and offline Wednesday-Saturday. I hope to see you for the two member’s shows…

Tell Me…

A g’afternoon to you! I hope this finds you doing well and having a great week. I would love to hear what is new in your world, so please if you are reading this, respond with a note… or a chapter. Whichever suits you the best, works for me! 

 

My Favorite Birthday is Here!

It is finally July 17th; my favorite birthday of the year! In fact, next to T’giving, this is the best day to be celebrated! Let me tell you why. Dawn Marie loves her birthday, more than anyone I know, and she always has. She loved it as a girl and she still loves it years later, just as much as she always has, maybe even more. I do not know for sure on that. lol. It is not for gifts, because she does not expect any, it is because it is her day and she has every reason to be celebrated! I look forward to the birthday countdown each year and leading up to her day. 

Last year I was lucky enough to spend her birthday week with her and it was an amazing experience! If you are a member of mine, or hers, you have access to a couple videos that we did the night of her birthday. We had such a blast drinking together and the videos were fun and kept us both laughing for days. 

This year is even sweeter for DM because her and Rob are in Chicago visiting her son, daughter-in-law and their grandson. She is where she needs to be this year. 

Dawn is one of the most thoughtful people I have ever known. She always things of others first, expecting nothing in return or any recognition for her friendship, as long as you are a friend, I might add.

I am going to share a story with you, and then I promise to get back to the silly antics that have become my blog…

My dad was a man of many talents. He was a horse breeder, a rancher of sorts, a barber, a contractor, and a handyman, to name a few. In the 80’s one of his odd-jobs was taking down old insulators (on telephone poles) on the LBJ ranch in Johnson City, TX. I cannot tell you why, but it was probably to have some extra “stash” money that was his to spend and he liked to keep busy. So, he had a huge trough of insulators that had a neat story to them and I ended up with a big lot of them. Dawn is a crafty person and I gave her a box of them, thinking nothing of it. She had someone make a lamp with one of the insulators for my birthday last year. She spent time on Pinterest looking at ideas, then contacted someone to see if he could do it and then mailed several for him to make three lamps. One for me, her and JoAnn. All because she knew what something as simple as an insulator meant to me.

She is a lady deserving of everything good in the world. Baby kisses, a family that loves her, friends who cherish her and days full of laughter and good memories. 

Please send her a happy birthday message just because it will make her smile. 

Investing into My New Beginnings.

My site has always been 100% me, from the write-ups, to the blogging and definitely in all of the email correspondence. There is a lot more to maintaining the site than just the face of it on social media and with what is shown, but in content and producing videos. With everything else that I had on my plate, the editing and rendering of the videos and sorting the pictures was not something I bothered with. However, now I am going to dive in and learn how to do what I probably should have been doing all along. I have to admit, I am looking forward to it because this change has been good for me. My first step in this new venture is buying a camera that is not my iPhone. lol. 

I just received the camera package that includes a Canon Camera, one lens, and a microphone. I also bought an external flash, a different lens and a couple memory cards. This weekend I will read the 900 page manual, take pictures of Tucker and Levi, but Roger I already know will not participate in my classroom lessons. 

Amber, your generous GC that you sent a couple weeks ago was used to buy the flash, which is a huge help. I just want you to know that it means a lot that you are always so thoughtful in every way. Thank you.

I appreciate the patience and support that everyone has shown me over the last three months. I hope to make some changes to the site by the years end, but you will start seeing more videos added on a regular basis once I get familiar with everything. 

 

Keep Calm . . .

Keep Calm and Love Elephants . . .

What a wonderful message to wake up to! I slept later than what I had wanted to, but I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. The first message I saw when I browsed through social media was “Keep Calm and Love Elephants”. It is going to be a fantastically beautiful day! 

I will be online at Streamate all afternoon and into the evening, with the exception of a dinner break, after which I will return to Chaturbate – it has been a few weeks since we have played keno and used the vibrating toy that you can control… so, let’s reacquaint ourselves with that network..

I look forward to a day spent with you. 🙂

Doug, What?

Doug,

Dude! What is with another name change? I, personally, think you should go with Jeff next. After he runs his course, then you might consider Wilbur, followed by Charlie and then Alfred. 

Sincerely,

A Concerned Angel

Monday Blues, Weekend News.

G’afternoon! Happy Monday, let the blue’s begin! Actually, I do not hate Monday’s like I once did. It is just another day, but for some it is the start of a new week. Regardless of what today is for you, I hope it is a beautiful day full of goodness and in spite of the weekend being over. 

What did you do this past weekend? I had a very relaxing, yet productive Saturday and then I spent yesterday online with most of you. It was a great couple of days and the week looks promising. I will be on cam most of the week, with the exception of Wednesday and this week’s update will be a squirting video. So, there is a lot to look forward to this week, and if you are a member join me on cam via the banner that gives you access to my cam room. All gold shows are FREE to member’s, along with the 1 hour member shows on Monday’s and Tuesday’s. 

Pisses Me Off

Alright, I have to say it really pisses me the fuck off when I see advertisements that make women feel insecure about themselves. Such as cellulite or small boobs. First of all, there is nothing you can do about cellulite. Either you have it, or you don’t. It is not because you are 5 pounds heavier than what society says you should be for your height, nor is it anything you ate if you are 10 pounds too skinny. It is bad enough that girls are taught at an early age that their looks matter more than their mind and that having perfect hair, flawless skin and every hair in place is what is important. Instead, what they should be taught is they are beautiful and perfect just as they are and to be confident in themselves and to use their brain! 

There is no amount of lotion that is going to reduce dimples in your thighs. Do not buy any product that promises such blasphemy! 

This was either photoshopped or not even the same butt and thighs. 

Many Thanks

I have had many reasons to give thanks over the last several months, but I have fallen short on some. I have been showered with a lot of kindness and generosity by many of you, and I owe more thanks than I will give here, but I figure this is a good start. 

Gree: Thank you for making time for coffee and a muffin the morning you flew into Austin for an over night stay. It means more to me than I can possibly put into words that you took time out of your quick trip for me. 

Nicster: You have always been one of the most thoughtful gentleman I have ever known. You are always quick to check on me, to send me a surprise if you think it will brighten my day and always willing to go above and beyond. Thank you!

Mtnman: If you think something was added to my list that I want for myself, not for online, you are most likely ordering it the day I add it. Whether it is a summer dress, lip gloss or an Emoji Micro Pedi Callus remover. Thank you!

Jimmy: I do not even know what to say. I now have Lou Boutin shoes and a beautiful black dress, thanks to you. I never imagined having a pair of shoes such as those in my collection. Thank you! I hope that you will enjoy the pictures and video that will be added to the site in the next few weeks. 

Red: Thank you for the beautiful pearl necklace and the kimono you brought back from your amazing vacation in China. I also enjoyed having lunch with you twice around my birthday and then a few weeks ago when you were able to take time out of your busy schedule to meet me at our favorite lunch spot. You are a gem. 

Bubba and Hedo: I know that you sent birthday packages to my home address. I am sorry to say that I have not been able to return to pick up those surprises. However, once I pick up the rest of my belongings, I hope to get those as well. Unfortunately, I am not sure when that will be. It all depends on the divorce being finalized and whatnot. Details that do not need to be discussed here. I would like to thank you both for being thoughtful though.

LIMITED TIME ONLY

Website Sale

Another holiday, another sale. This weekend my site is ONLY $14.95 and you gain full member benefits. I offer several LIVE cam shows each week, you gain access to the entire VNA Live network, and I update the site every Friday. I am interactive and I give back. You will not be disappointed.

Skype Sale

To make this sale more tempting, I am going to do something that I have never done before now. If you join my site by the 4th, I will offer Skype shows for $2.50/minute with a 10 minute minimum. That is $10 off from my normal rates. I am flexible with my schedule but Skype shows are usually by appointment only. 

Another Year, Another Reason to Celebrate!

Wow! Mtnman can you believe we are celebrating another birthday?!?! Much to your chagrin, I am excited to have this day to wish you nothing but the best!!! Now, with that said, if you could have done something about your day falling on a Saturday I would have been even happier. I absolutely love celebrating other people’s birthday’s because everyone is worth recognizing but today is Saturday, which is kind of sad. Have I mentioned Saturday’s is one of my days offline, meaning I won’t be on cam? I think this is the first year since you joined us that our group will not convene in honor of YOU. 

All the same, I wish you a very happy birthday and I hope that you enjoy the day for what is, and that it is beautiful!